Rant: Halloween Costumes

So…. Why are all Halloween costumes for men really really cheesy?

Bruce is dressing as a “devil” for Halloween, and I am going as a fallen angel.  Cute, huh?

(Feel free to disapprove if you must, but this should not be taken as any sort of religious indication on either of our behalf.  As my friend Amy put it a couple of years ago – just because you dress as a fireman on Halloween, does not mean you actually intend to rush into a fire. Nor does dressing as a witch mean you necessarily actually intend to embrace the dark arts. Amen to Amy’s logic and rationality!)

Anyways…We have been looking for inspiration for both costumes and. I have some awesome wings that I bought online. Not cheesy white pantyhose stretched across wire, but incredible fan-feathered double-sided wings made by hand. I am SO excited about them!

Bruce’s costume has been surprisingly much harder.

All the devil costumes available for purchase are sort of ridiculously cheesy! They tend to all fall into one of 3 categories of cheese:

First – the ones that involve a vest of some sort. Um, WHY??? Vests in general tend to generate concepts of the following: men’s business suits, show choir, wedding parties, and cute nerds, and bartenders.

I think the devil-costume-as-men’s-business-suit angle is some tragic left over concept of the 80s. It usually involves black pleated pants, black button up shirt, and red vest. Some invert the red and black palette. The worst involve sequins and or a lace cravat at the neck. Or all of it!

I guess this devil’s sin involves collecting various fashion offenses throughout the ages. He kind of looks like a Vegas nightclub singer.

2. Second worst – the devil that is Hugh Heffner. There is a whole category of these costumes involve red smoking jackets. Why? I just don’t know.

These also usually incorporate a tail. I can only assume the whole thing is supposed to be incredibly ironic.

The third most ridiculous is the “Hello, I am the Devil, and I will be your waiter this evening!” look. Don’t expect refills from this guy.

I just wonder, when did the prince of darkness become some tragic male stereotype?

We were thinking kind of more of a Dave Navarro, tattooed leather and guy-liner devilish bad-ass. Perhaps with electric guitar skills.

Dave Navarro attending the AVN Awards Show at ...

Bruce already has a couple tattoos. I thought we could add a few more temporary ones. Find some (creepy, not silly) red horns. Use some of my eyeliner, etc. I guess we are going to have to cobble this one together piecemeal. One thing is for sure – it will not involve sequins!

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