I was blessed to have two wonderful Grandmothers in my life, both of whom are now gone. Both were wonderful caring ladies, who left me with wonderful memories, family traditions, traits, and little treasure.
The thing I treasure most, however, now that they are gone, is the little bits of wisdom they passed along. In particular today, I am remembering today is one tiny tidbit of advice from my Grandma Maxine on marriage.
Several times, long before I was married, she said to me, “If your husband ever wants to take you out to dinner, you go. It doesn’t matter if you have already cooked a whole meal, and the kids are hungry. Call a sitter, put it in the fridge, and put on your best dress. Don’t ever turn down your husband when he wants to treat you nice.”
It’s such a tiny funny little piece of advice, but also so wise in it’s observations about marriage dynamics. It’s important to let each other be nice, be kind, be affectionate, be proud, and be lavish with one another.
I think that neural pathways and emotional memories are delicate and powerful things. When we get positive feedback for something we do, or when we enjoy reciprocal happiness from making someone else happy, or when we create a positive memory of something, your mind and heart hold on to that. Or when we get negative feedback, embarrassment or opposition, or create a bad memory, our hearts and minds recall that too. And the next time we think about trying something, we recall what the result was the first time.
I think it is so important to build on and feed those positive emotions between two people, not just for the moment of one event, but as encouragement for all the future moments that could be.
It’s a small observation and sentiment, and I am sure neither I nor Grandma is the first to ever offer it.
But today I am remembering my Grandma and Grandpa, and their 62 year marriage, and I for one, am going to let my husband take me to dinner!